So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
