apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
