eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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