So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
