We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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