Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
