just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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