i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think my nap took me to another dimension
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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