Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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