..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
