Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
