Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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