You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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