Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
