wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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