his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
