I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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