You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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