We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
