She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
