im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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