North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
