You're so nebulous sometimes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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