I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
