your thong is hanging out like whoa
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize