I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
