Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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