so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
