you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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