Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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