the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
