Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
