Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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