I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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