why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The air was thick with penises
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
