All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
