Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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