im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
