Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I need a hoe opinion
go on
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
