dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
