Whod you bang
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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