it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
