i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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