i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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