who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
