Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Enjoy the penises
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
