hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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