So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
