Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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