left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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