My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
