i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
