What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
