Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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