He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I CAN MOONWALK!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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