Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
