Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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