I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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