I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
