Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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