I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
