They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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