Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
