i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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